Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What is it called when 5 girls get into bed with one guy?

A "no one will ever believe me".

What is Unidan's favorite fast food joint?

Five Guys.

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

Why does the media always call a stabbing incident a "violent" stabbing incident?

Is it possible to stab someone non-violently

What do you call it when you stab a vampire in the lungs?

A miss stake

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Why u bean like this?

SMACK "Don't u carrot all " CRACK

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

Pie Jokes More Pie Jokes

What do you call a pie who made his own ears?

A pioneer

What do you get when you drop a few ears of corn into a pie?

You get a cobbler!

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

How do you stop a ginger from drowning?

You throw him a lifesaver and tell him to grab on to it.

How do I raise my kids?

Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.

Why couldn't the cat speak?

A: The dog taped his mouth.

Lean Jokes More Lean Jokes

When I'm with a handsome man I get all nervous & involuntarily start speaking French ME leans across Oh really?

DATE: Yes

What did you like most about your last job?

ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it.

5th Jokes More 5th Jokes

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes ... A FSHHH

Why did yo girl cross the road?

Joke from one of my 5th graders) Cause she saw me. Another: Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he saw some chicks.