Where were u on the nite of the 5th?

Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." leans in Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How will an IT guy fix a lamp?

He'll restart the nuclear power plant

Why did the blonde go to church?

B/c she heard there was a guy hung like this(https://riverchurchtelford.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/jesus.jpg)

Stab Jokes More Stab Jokes

Why does the media always call a stabbing incident a "violent" stabbing incident?

Is it possible to stab someone non-violently

How are you doing?

and you respond 'I'm doing ok. Getting better each day' & they stab you for answering

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What's the difference between U-Haul and Youtube?

People are'nt happy for you when you get loads of hits on your U-Haul.

How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

A: Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.

Pie Jokes More Pie Jokes

What do you mean pi r square?

Pies are round

How does Davy Crockett like his pie?

la Mode

Grab Jokes More Grab Jokes

How does a mathematician deal with constipation?

He grabs a pencil and tries to work it out

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

Tape Jokes More Tape Jokes

What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs?

A whale with a table taped to it.

How do you start a rave in Uganda?

Tape a slice of bread to the ceiling

Lean Jokes More Lean Jokes

What did you like most about your last job?

ME: *leans in way too close* Leaving it.

Why can't bikes stand up without leaning on something?

They're two-tired.

5th Jokes More 5th Jokes

What was Beethoven's favorite food?

BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes ... A FSHHH