Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving?

All the coats are on the bed!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

Why is there a baseball bat under your bed?

Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What's the difference between a Redditor and a brick?

The brick will eventually get laid.

What do women and floor tiles have in common?

If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.

Coat Jokes More Coat Jokes

What did the hat say to the coat stand?

You stay here, I'll go on a head.

Why did the orange fall out with the orange-peeler?

Because he was taking the pith. /gets coat. bai.

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!