Window Jokes

What do Spider-Man and Windows 98 have in common?

They're always rebooting.

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Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

What does 1+1=?

Window.

What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?

They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

Why did ISIS leader bring a car-door to the desert?

So he could roll down the window when it gets too hot. How we joke in Kurdistan

How do you cure a headache?

A: Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

Why do people never see an Apple store getting robbed?

It doesn't have windows.

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer?

A co-operating system.

What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of Coke?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo fall out of a window

What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven?

Threw his baby out the window.

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Why did Apple employee get away jacking off in the office?

Because there are no windows!

What did the Windows user say to his Linux terminal?

DIR

Why doesn't a sociologist look out the window in the morning?

Because then they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

What did one window say to the other window?

I'm in pane

What do Windows and a submarine have in common?

If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.

Why did Bill Gates get sick?

Because he left the Windows open.

Why have all these complete strangers started to poke around outside my window?

A: They wanna peek-a-chu.

Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

How did Godzilla get the job opportunity?

Some say he had a foot in the door... and the window... and the wall.

What do you call two guys above a window?

Kurt and Rod

Why does Windows 10 say "Hello"?

Because my PC is a Dell.

Why Romeo could not meet Juliet at an Apple Store?

Poor Juliet! Did not know Apple stores don't have Windows!

What's the difference between Paul Walker and Windows 10?

Paul Walker only crashed once.

What's the difference between an 8-ball and a baby?

Eric Clapton would never let an 8-ball fall out the window!

Why did I throw my phone out of my window?

Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...

Why does windows 9 not exist?

Because 7 8 9.

What is the difference between Windows and the US Goverment?

There is none. All of us hope that the next version will be more stable.

How do Russians put windows in?

Putin Windows duh.

Why did Eric Clapton make the switch from PC to Apple?

Well because he had a horrible experience with windows. (credit to Neil Hamburger for this amazing joke)

Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why did they go from Windows 8 straight to Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9!

Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10 and skip 9?

Because Windows 8 9.

Why is it Windows 10 and not 9?

because 7 ate 9.

Why didn't Microsoft release Windows 9?

Because Windows 7 ate 9.

Why does it go from Windows 8 to 10?

Because Windows 7 8 9

Why did microsoft go straight to windows 10 ?

They were trying to keep their german market.

Why did microsoft go directly to windows 10?

Because windows 7 8 9

Why did we skip windows 9?

Because 7 8 9 I'm so sorry

Why did they skip Windows 9?

Because 7 8 9!

Why isn't there a Windows 9?

Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."

Why did Microsoft skip windows 9?

Because 7 ate 9

What ever happened to Windows 9?

Windows 7 8 9.

Why is Windows going from 8 to 10?

Because 7 ate 9. Credit to a guy I work with.

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

They revived to much XP

Why is Microsoft going straight to Windows 10?

Because 7.. 8.. 9

What does my girlfriend and Windows 8 have in common?

they are both 8........

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Why did Microsoft skip to windows 10?

Because 7 8 9.

What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Why did the old man throw the matress out the window?

Dementia

Why won't Microsoft hire any maids?

Because they don't do Windows

What does the window do when the sun shines on it?

It gets Blinded I excuse myself out.

Why is Microsoft skipping Windows 9?

Because Windows 7 8 9

Why did the Windows OS skip from 8 to 10?

Because seven, eight, nine.

Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9

What do you call two guys with no arms or legs hanging from a window?

Curt and Rod

Why is Microsoft coming out with a windows 10 instead of 9?

Because 7 8 9

Why did Microsoft name their new operating system Windows 10?

Because Windows 7 8 9!

Why is the new OS from Microsoft called Windows 10?

Because 7 ate 9.

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to 10?

Because Windows 7 ate 9!!! :D

Why is the next Windows version 10?

Because 7 8 9

Why is the new version called Windows 10?

Because 7 ate 9.

Why is there no Windows 9?

Because 7 8 9.

Why did Microsoft jump from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

Because Windows 7, 8 9.....

Why do black people put their garbage in clear trash bags?

So the Mexicans can window shop.

What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant?

Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York.

What did the bird say when it flew into the window?

Owl

What do you call a window that can rap?

Two Panes

How is a computer like an air conditioner?

They both stop working properly when you open windows.

What was it called when the dragon from The Hobbit was thrown out a window?

The Defenestration of Smaug.

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What do you call a helicopter with no radar and no windows?

A Helenkelicopter.

Why was the Windows PC broke?

It ran out of cache.

Why is the upcoming Windows OS called Windows 10?

Because 7 ate 9...

Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10?

Because Windows 7, 8, 9. I'll see myself out.

Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that?

Boy: Me and I'm going home now.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine &amp a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

Why is it called Windows 10?

Because 7 8 9.

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon

Why do the versions of Windows jump from 8 to 10?

Because no one wanted Windows Nein!

Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?

A: He wanted to see time fly.

What scratches the window before it explodes?

A baby in a microwave

What do you call a man in the window?

INNUENDO!!!!!!!

Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 and go straight to 10?

Because seven "ate" nine.

Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning?

A: So they have something to do in the afternoon.

What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?

Curt 'n Rod

Why was Windows Vista afraid of 7?

Because Windows 7 8 9.

Why did Windows skip to 10?

Because 7 ate 9.

Why wont Apple ever make a car?

Because it can't have windows in it!!!!

Why was Windows afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 10.

What does a suburban neighbourhood do if there's a blackout?

They lock their doors and windows.

Why did my friend throw my computer out the window?

So A Dell could message me and say Hello from the other side.

Why did the man throw his watch out the window?

He wanted to see time fly!

What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hanging over a window?

Kurt and Rod

What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?

A virus does something.

What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window?

Where you going essay!

Why can't you fart in an apple car?

It doesn't have windows.

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How do you figure out if Will Smith committed a crime?

Dust for Fresh Prints! (i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)

What do you call the version of google maps without pac man?

Pac Man-free Ver.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

What kind of bird flies around bays?

Bagles

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why couldn't the Jedi open the door?

He didn't use enough force...

Why are aussie bogans and necrophiliacs the same?

They both want to crack open a cold one.

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How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10?

They revived to much XP

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the fish?

Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish.

What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?

The police made him bring it back again.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?

He went back 4 seconds.

Why is Windows going from 8 to 10?

Because 7 ate 9. Credit to a guy I work with.

8 Jokes More 8 Jokes

Why do women make bad engineers?

Their whole lives they have been told 5 inches is 8

Why are women such bad drivers?

Because they are constantly lied to about what 8" is.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

How do spiders drive a van?

10 on top 10 below Where would you like to go Get in. Get in the Spider Van.

How much time do I have left, doctor?

Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what ! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5...