What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road?

Do they really think someone will take it Do you think I should wash it first

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did Tigger jump down the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

What do you call an engineer who looks at other people's shoes when walking?

Extroverted

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

What did the elevator say to the stairs?

Never mind, I'll escalator

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What's black and taps on the window?

A baby in the microwave :)

What do you call a man in the window?

INNUENDO!!!!!!!

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

Who is Superman's brother?

Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Why are black men afraid of chainsaw's?

When you start them, they made the sound "runnnniganiganiganiga" Sorry for the racism, but had to share this.

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

Why does Dracula have no friends?

Because he's a pain in the neck.

How do you measure pain?

In Hertz.

Peke Jokes More Peke Jokes

What did the Chinaman cleaning the rotisserie say to the crestfallen window shopper?

No Peking!

What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

I'm only Peking.