Peke Jokes

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck. (it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

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What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

I'm only Peking.

What did the Chinaman cleaning the rotisserie say to the crestfallen window shopper?

No Peking!

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why couldn't the lizard be aroused?

He had a reptile dysfunction (I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)

What's the difference between Americans and Brits?

Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

What do you call two witches who share a room?

Broom-mates.

How can you tell if it was a shared computer used by many staffers?

A: There is writing on the White-out.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What came first: the chicken or the egg?

The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner.

What do waiters want most after dinner?

The tip!

Clean Jokes More Clean Jokes

What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

What do you call someone who cleans vacuums?

A vacuum cleaner.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What did the guy say after he finished jacking off?

Well that got a load off my mind.

How do you annoy a computer person with a problem?

Never mind, I figured it out.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did they never make a pregnant Barbie?

because Ken always came in another box.

Why did the Snowman pull his pants down?

Because the snowblower was coming.

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

Why is no one friends with Dracula?

Cause hes a pain in the neck.

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why can't Vader find a steady relationship?

He keeps looking for love in Alderaan places

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)