Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?

A: He got arrested just like you would've.

What happens to you at Christmas ?

Yule be happy !

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head?

You don't want to look down.

Where is your unicorn?

Me: I don't have a unicorn. A: You better get naked and go into that Arby's and look for it anyway. M: Ok.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

When does Sean Connery like to show up at Wimbeldon?

Tennish.

Why do people wear sleeveless shirts?

They like to express the right to bear arms.

Pole Jokes More Pole Jokes

Why did the mathematician call his dog Cauchy?

Because he left a residue at every pole.

Who is currently leading in the Pirate Party Polls?

Noone. Pirates don't have poles, they have masts.

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

What would you say about someone who li kes to tell cancer jokes?

That he has a sense of tumor (Courtesy of twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

What do you call spaghetti pretending to be rigatoni?

An impasta

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

Uk Jokes More Uk Jokes

What do an anorexic girl and the UK have in common?

They both lose pounds really fast.

What if UK's politician changes the lightbulb?

He Brexit!