What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?

He ate himself.

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What just happened there?

Buddy says "Eumetazoa."

What happens when you microwave a DVD?

you get a VHS tape.

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Why don't cannibals have dogs?

Because you're not supposed to feed them people food.

What's the definition of a cannibal?

Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!

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What did the time traveller do after he ate the last bite of his dinner?

He went back 4 seconds.

What's the square root of 69?

Ate something.