What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What is white and streaks across the sky at blinding speeds?

The coming of the lord

Why can't you hear Django coming?

The D is silent.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did Boba Fett work alone?

Because he was hunting Solo.

How is a computer like an air conditioner?

They both stop working properly when you open windows.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What should I tell him?

Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."

What are you gonna do today?

Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What's the difference between god and pilots?

God doesn't think he's a pilot.

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

Intervention Jokes More Intervention Jokes

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

What do you call it when a bunch of deer have an intervention for one of their friends?

Change for a buck.

Define Jokes More Define Jokes

How many true friends do you believe you have?

Me: Define "true friend." Shrink: Someone you feel you can tell anything. Me: 11,419.

How do you define necrophilia?

The urge to crack open a cold one