Why doesn't God like pizza?

Because he doesn't exist.

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What did the guy who liked mustard say when he opened his fridge and saw no mustard?

You mustard be joking!

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to throw things?

A geist. Thanks! I will show myself out.

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How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Deep pan, crisp and even.

What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza?

Heperoni

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What's the mating call of a sorority girl?

O My GOd! I am so drunk.

What's the difference between a statesman and a politician?

A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.

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Why do churches ban Wi-Fi?

Because they can't compete with an invisible power that actually exists

What programming languages would we use if C didn't exist?

Ans: PASAL, OBOL and BASI