Why doesn't God like pizza?

Because he doesn't exist.

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What's it like to have a social life?

Asking for a friend.

Who doesn't like Turkey?

Russia.

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Why is it so hard to order pizza from me?

I'll update with the hilarious punchline later...

Why did they ruin this pizza with so much cheese?

SNOE

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How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital?

The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

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What did Ghost A say to Ghost B?

Nothing because ghosts don't exist. Edit:Holy crap I just realized I didn't post this on /r/antijokes.

What belongs in the bank and doesn't exist?

My tax refund.