What happened to you ?

PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the fireman who let the house burn?

He got fired.

What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up!

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

What do you call a Mexican melon?

A cantelopez! Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What did the necrophiliac have when his grandmother died?

Mourning wood

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

Why was the doctor forced to leave work early?

The hospital ran all out of patience

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39

Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long?

A: So the violists don't need to be retrained.