Intervention Jokes

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

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What do you call it when a bunch of deer have an intervention for one of their friends?

Change for a buck.

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Star Jokes More Star Jokes

Why is Jeopardy the #1 show in the U.S.?

Because Michael Douglas starred in "Double Jeopardy" in 1999.

What does one star say to another star when they meet?

Glad to meteor!

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why did the Russians lose the space race?

Their rocket kept Stalin!

What did Vladimir name his member?

Put-in. (In a Russian accent)

Stalin Jokes More Stalin Jokes

Why couldn't the Soviet Union get anything done?

They were always either Russian or Stalin.

Why did the Russian man keep making excuses?

He was just stalin for time

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to manufacture it first.

How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb?

They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

What secret society do strippers work for?

The Illuminaughty.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden?

Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do black people with Down's Syndrome call their friends?

Their Chromies

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Deer Jokes More Deer Jokes

What do you call it when a deer knows karate?

Tae-fawn-doe

What did one cookie say to the other cookie ?

You've got a chip on your shoulder. What did the deer say to the bear Your unbearable