Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

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Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why did no one trust the dermatologist?

He kept making rash decisions.

Why can't siamese twins be trusted to render fair judgments?

Because they're always partial. I'm so sorry.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

How many Ukrainians does it take to screw a lightbulb?

You don't need to, they glow in the dark.

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

Englishman Jokes More Englishman Jokes

What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50?

Colonel, sir.

What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final?

The referee

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did the girl say when the Statue of Liberty sneezed?

God bless America.

What instrument does God play?

He plays the cello. As it says in scripture: "Our God is a cellist God."

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What do you call ten sets of bagpipes at the bottom of the sea?

A start.

The punchline often arrives before the set-up.

Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?

Sun Jokes More Sun Jokes

What's Irish and lies around in the sun all day?

Patty O'Furniture.

What do you call someone who reads in the sun?

Well Red.