Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

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Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't you trust anything MATTER says?

Because it makes up everything.

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

Why didn't Darth Vader make it as a stand up comic?

Fans thought his sense of humor was a little too on the dark side.

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb?

You can't tell it's in the dark

Englishman Jokes More Englishman Jokes

What do Englishmen like more than tea?

Tea tea

What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50?

Colonel, sir.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call it?

God: A toddler.

How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

Well... If it's any constellation..."

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What do you get when you put 32 Rednecks in one room?

One full set of teeth.

What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?

Forty feet of track - all straight!

Sun Jokes More Sun Jokes

Who satisfies earth the most?

Sun. Because the sun goes down every night.

How does the Moon cut the Sun's hair?

He eclipse it.