Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

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Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

How can I trust you again?

H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!

Why can't I trust my Walmart calculator?

It's always 7% off.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

What do you call a balloon that glows in the dark?

A LED Zeppelin

What do you call poultry that glows in the dark?

Chicken Kiev

Englishman Jokes More Englishman Jokes

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

What did the Englishman call the hilarious Slav?

Top Vlad.

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did I do before Twitter?

Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY ! !

Why would he put that on a resume?

Oh. My. God. You're hired."

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What do you call a set of chairs kept outside in Ireland?

Paddy O' Furniture

What did the set-up say to the punchline?

You're nothing but a joke.

Sun Jokes More Sun Jokes

What did the sunbathing mother say to Michael Jackson as he walked by on the beach?

Would you please move You're in my sun.

How many fams does it take to get the sky lit?

Just one sun