Englishman Jokes

What do Englishmen like more than tea?

Tea tea

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What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50?

Colonel, sir.

What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final?

The referee

What did the Englishman call the hilarious Slav?

Top Vlad.

Why does the sun never set on the British Empire?

Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!

Why did the Englishman wear a tie to his vasectomy?

Because he wanted to look mptnt

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Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

How do you tie two half ducks together?

with ducktape!!

Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?

It ended in a tie.

Vlad Jokes More Vlad Jokes

What did the Englishman call the hilarious Slav?

Top Vlad.

What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming?

Aqua-Vlad

Vasectomy Jokes More Vasectomy Jokes

What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't?

I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens.

Why did the Englishman wear a tie to his vasectomy?

Because he wanted to look mptnt

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What have I got in my hands?

A double decker bus! You looked!

Why are black crimes hard to solve?

Because they're all criminals and they look the same.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?

Open Toad sandals... I'll show myself out - thank you

Why do hippies wear patchouli?

So blind people can hate them, too.

Slav Jokes More Slav Jokes

What do you call black men working while white men watch?

Slav-The NBA

What did the Englishman call the hilarious Slav?

Top Vlad.

Sun Jokes More Sun Jokes

Why couldn't the dyslexic plantation owner get anything done?

Gingers just don't last in the sun.

What do you call someone who reads in the sun?

Well Red.

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why did God make man before woman?

You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Why did God invent economists?

So accountants could have someone to laugh at.