Vlad Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

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What do you call an asthmatic vampire?

Vlad The Inhaler.

Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out.

What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming?

Aqua-Vlad

What did the Englishman call the hilarious Slav?

Top Vlad.

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Dracula Jokes More Dracula Jokes

Why didn't Count Dracula get married?

He wanted to remain a bat-chelor.

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician?

A: Chelsea.

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?

A bird that talks in morse code !

Slav Jokes More Slav Jokes

What did the Englishman call the hilarious Slav?

Top Vlad.

What do you call black men working while white men watch?

Slav-The NBA

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common?

They're all going to be 65 this year.

Why is Vladimir Putin always Russian?

Because he's never Finnish.

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

What is Putin's favorite Justin Timberlake song?

Cremia River

What did Putin say when he was finally fed up with Boris Nemtsov?

I'm putin' that guy to sleep

Inhaler Jokes More Inhaler Jokes

Why did the little boy use his inhaler?

No wheezin'"

What do you call an asthmatic vampire?

Vlad The Inhaler.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the angry inflatable teacher say to the irresponsible inflatable child in the inflatable school?

Not only have you let me down, you've let yourself down, and you've let the whole school down!

Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?

Church " "K let's make 'em like that" -- funeral home designers

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why do sharks only swim in salt water?

Got this is a Cracker Jack box) Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

How do college students exercise?

By swimming in their debt.