Vlad Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

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What do you call an asthmatic vampire?

Vlad The Inhaler.

Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out.

What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming?

Aqua-Vlad

What did the Englishman call the hilarious Slav?

Top Vlad.

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Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner?

Putout

Inhaler Jokes More Inhaler Jokes

What do you call an asthmatic vampire?

Vlad The Inhaler.

Why did the little boy use his inhaler?

No wheezin'"

Dracula Jokes More Dracula Jokes

Where does Dracula live?

Monte Cristo

Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?

He made a grave mistake.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why was christopher never in the same place?

Because he's always Walken

What places have the least racial tensions?

Bakeries, there are brownies and crackers there and yet they never fight.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the bridge?

To get away from the Turkey coop.

Why did the salad cross the road?

To get away from the PETA convention.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Where do hipsters swim?

Not in the mainstream

What is yellow and can't swim?

An excavator. And why? Because it only got one arm.

Henry Viii Jokes More Henry Viii Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?

He liked to chop and change !

Englishman Jokes More Englishman Jokes

What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50?

Colonel, sir.

What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final?

The referee