What did Putin say when he was finally fed up with Boris Nemtsov?

I'm putin' that guy to sleep

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

How do these presidential candidates sleep at night?

With an electorate blanket.

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

What do Americans and Putin have in common?

They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

How do you know Putin's doing well this election?

He's taking over the Poles.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.