Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What is long, hard and full of sperm ?

The sock under my bed.

What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed ?

Sleep in the wardrobe !

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What do you call someone who doesn't know how to party?

Illiterate (il-lit-erate)

What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night?

Chicago.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why did the kittens turn atheist?

Coz their eyes opened.

What's the difference between having a job and being a homeless drug addict?

One takes over your life and turns you into brainless zombie and the other one makes you homeless.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What does a cat sleep on?

A: A caterpillow.

How did you sleep?

With closed eyes.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What bounces and makes little children cry?

My donation check to Feed the Children!

Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What's the difference between windows 10 and the world's biggest virus?

The Logo.

Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10?

Because Windows 7, 8, 9. I'll see myself out.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

Why is Patrick so dumb?

He's living under a rock.

What do women and rocks have in common?

You can skip the flat ones.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !

How often do you guys close your internet tabs?

One of mine is from the Kerry/Edwards campaign.

Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

Why did the police officer shoot himself in the face?

He had a black eye.

What video game system do police officers play in their cars?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...