Claw Jokes

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

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What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now?

Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

What works in a circus walks a tightrope and has claws ?

An acrocat !

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

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Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirtbag on the inside.

What do you call a hula hoop with a nail on the inside?

A Navel Destroyer.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the frog say when he walked into the bar?

Bonjour.*

What do you call an asian walking a dog?

A vegetarian.

Paw Jokes More Paw Jokes

What do you call it when a cat stops?

A: A paws!

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Suit Jokes More Suit Jokes

What is Superman when he removes his suit?

Man.

What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark naked.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What has a beginning and an end, but nothing in the middle?

Life.

What word starts with F and ends with UCK?

Firetruck

Pause Jokes More Pause Jokes

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Marilyn Monroe Jokes More Marilyn Monroe Jokes

What "D" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in ?

Blon-D

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

Sandy Claw Jokes More Sandy Claw Jokes

What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?

They both have Sandy Claws.

Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ?

Because they both have "Sandy claws" !