Clause Jokes

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

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Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

Why was Mrs. Clause's stocking full on December 21st?

Because Santa came early this year.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Who corrects Santa's grammar?

A subordinate Clause.

What do you call Santa without toys?

A lost Clause

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Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What equine likes to cut in line?

A sawhorse!

What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

Paw Jokes More Paw Jokes

What do cats and people that submit jokes with the punchline "PLAGIARISM" have in common?

THEY BOTH LICK THEIR PAWS!

Why does a dog lick his balls?

Because he can't curve his paw into a little fist

Comma Jokes More Comma Jokes

Why do the Germans use commas in place of decimal points?

Because it makes 6,000,000 seem like a much smaller number.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Santa Clause Jokes More Santa Clause Jokes

Why can Saint Nicolas never be prosecuted?

Because of the Santa Clause

What is red and white and red and white and red and ....?

Santa Clause rolling down a hill

Pause Jokes More Pause Jokes

Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?

Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this...

What is a hemophiliac's least favorite song?

Don't stop ble-eding (The pause is necessary)

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a golfer and skydiver?

A golfer goes "damn" and a skydiver goes "damn" .

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse, Janice Joplin, Jim Morrison, and a bottle of scotch?

OC) A bottle of scotch can keep beyond 27 years.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do you call a blonde in a closet?

Last years hide and seek champion

How many years before we forget if 9/11 was in '00 or '01?

15 or 16

Tiger Woods Jokes More Tiger Woods Jokes

What's the difference between Elton John's chin and Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods hasn't hit as many balls.

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause?

With Santa it is only three hoes and he's done.