Paw Jokes

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

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What do you call a group of dogs?

a PAW-se

Why wasn't the cat moving?

It was on paws

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

What do bears and women from Arkansas have in common?

They can't stop licking their paws.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Why does a dog lick his balls?

Because he can't curve his paw into a little fist

Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?

To see who shot his "paw."

Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard?

They're all paws.

Why does he do that?

Me: He's on paws. X: ... Me: On... paws. X: I hate you so much.

What do cats and people that submit jokes with the punchline "PLAGIARISM" have in common?

THEY BOTH LICK THEIR PAWS!

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How are dogs and addicts similar?

They both have PAWS

What do you call it when a cat stops?

A: A paws!

What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?

He paws-ed it!

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ?

Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !

What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?

I'm paw !

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Curve Jokes More Curve Jokes

What did the exponential equation say to the linear equation?

Real graphs have curves.

What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common?

They both watch whales.

Comma Jokes More Comma Jokes

Why do the Germans use commas in place of decimal points?

Because it makes 6,000,000 seem like a much smaller number.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What would bears be without bees?

Ears!

Where do bears go after smoking some weed?

Hibearnation

Pause Jokes More Pause Jokes

What is a hemophiliac's least favorite song?

Don't stop ble-eding (The pause is necessary)

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What do you say to a girl with a black eye?

Nothing. You already told her.

How far have you gone with a girl?

I went to Canada with my mum once"

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call an alpacca that screams when it sees fire?

A smoke aLaama.

How did the muslim get cancer?

By smoking a lot of fags.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

How do you choose a stupid policeman from a group of policemen?

At random.

What do you call a group of Mexicans doing work?

Manuel labour.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Which one do you let in?

The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

What do you get when you're agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

You stay up all night wondering if there's a dog.