Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?

For smoking in bed.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed?

His wife didn't know any decent crackers.

How did Jared lose 150lbs?

He kicked two 7-year-olds out of his bed.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!"

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What happens when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

How do you get half of Mexico to jump off a cliff?

Throw a penny off. How do you get the other half to jump too? ... Tell them no one found it yet.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What did the Chinese man say when he found out his mother died?

I can't bereave it!

What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor?

Beef on WIC