Fortune Jokes

What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

What letter do pirates guess most often on Wheel of Fortune?

T. Modern pirates are most likely based in Somalia, and T is the most common consonant in the Somali Latin alphabet.

Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.

Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls deep made this up.

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

What do Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both spent a fortune making their noses more white.

What do you call a group of Lexus cars?

A fortune!

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show ?

Whale of fortune !

Which burgers can tell your fortune?

Medium burgers!

You might also enjoy:

Obese Jokes More Obese Jokes

What do programmers and obese people have in common?

They both call an 8-course meal a bite.

What do you call a obese fortune teller?

A fortune teller, you FPHer!!!

Crystal Ball Jokes More Crystal Ball Jokes

Where do psychics go to dance?

The crystal ball

Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls deep made this up.

Las Vegas Jokes More Las Vegas Jokes

Why don't casinos in Las Vegas hire girls from California?

Because they, like, can't even deal.

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

End Jokes More End Jokes

When does feminism end?

When Islam begins.

What's a word that starts with "u" and ends with "w"?

Cloning.

Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair?

A: She wanted to rock and roll

What do you call a disabled person during a zombie apocalypse?

Meals on wheels...

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do fish go into business ?

The start on a small scale !

Why did the sailboat start exercising?

It wanted to get into ship-shape. HA!

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

Where do lemons go to jail?

Lemonworth

Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail?

Because it needs bailing out.