Fortune Jokes

What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.

What letter do pirates guess most often on Wheel of Fortune?

T. Modern pirates are most likely based in Somalia, and T is the most common consonant in the Somali Latin alphabet.

Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.

Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls deep made this up.

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

What do Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both spent a fortune making their noses more white.

What do you call a group of Lexus cars?

A fortune!

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why are fish cleverer than humans?

Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show ?

Whale of fortune !

Which burgers can tell your fortune?

Medium burgers!

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Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

What happened when the wheel was invented?

It caused a revolution.

What came first the car or the wheel?

The car because a wheel isn't cary fast but a car is wheely fast.

Common Consonant Jokes More Common Consonant Jokes

What do Greeks call someone when the most common consonant in their name is R?

A rho-man

What letter do pirates guess most often on Wheel of Fortune?

T. Modern pirates are most likely based in Somalia, and T is the most common consonant in the Somali Latin alphabet.

Las Vegas Jokes More Las Vegas Jokes

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What did the pirate say to his sister?

Aye sis

What does a pirate take for his allergies?

Aye-drops

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What do you call a midget fortune teller running from the police?

A small medium at large.

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Large Fortune Jokes More Large Fortune Jokes

How do you make a small fortune in aviation?

Start out with a large fortune.

How do you make a small fortune out of horses?

Start off with a large fortune!

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What did the blind, paraplegic kid get for his christmas?

cancer

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer

End Jokes More End Jokes

What did the seamen say to his friend?

It was a long road, but I ended up coming out a head.

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init