What did the blind, paraplegic kid get for his christmas?

cancer

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What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, amputee kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

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What's the difference between a black person and Christmas lights?

Nothing. They both look good hanging from trees.

What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?

COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!