What does a 1 eyed, 1 legged, and deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

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Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

Why did the pop band get cancer?

They were radio active.

How do you describe getting cancer on your resume?

As a real growth opprotunity

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ?

Grave-y !

Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?

Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

Why is Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?

I thought he didn't care about the 1%

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why do my eyes hurt?

Because I got eye lashes.

What do you call a cow with no eyes?

A cow.