What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

new gloves for the cold days

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What's Santas favorite band?

Sleigher.

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at three Hos.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How do you make sure you have the best space party for your kid?

You planet early.

When your kid asks you (daddy is it time to go crazy?

you don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say My little joke

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How are Americans and poles similar?

Running into one could really ruin your day.

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A pineapple

What is the difference between dragons and dinosaurs?

Dinosaurs aren't old enough to smoke. Told to me by my niece at christmas.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you know if an Italian person is mute?

When you see he has no hands.

What's worse than dropping a scope of ice cream?

Dropping 2 scoops of ice cream. What's worse than dropping 2 scoops of ice cream? Getting a hand chopped off. What's worse than getting a hand chopped off? Getting both hands chopped off. What's worse than getting both hands chopped off? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping 3 scoops of ice cream.

Cold Day Jokes More Cold Day Jokes

What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?

A little otter

Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration?

Because it's a cold day in hell....