What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

new gloves for the cold days

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic

What would santa be if he was a farmer?

A jolly rancher.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?

They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.

What kid of music do old people listen to?

Hip-Pop

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did Joss say on the last day of shooting the Avengers?

Whedon?

Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day?

Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened his presents yet.

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's strong enough for a man but made for a women?

The back of my hand.

What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross?

THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!

Cold Day Jokes More Cold Day Jokes

What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?

A little otter

Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration?

Because it's a cold day in hell....