What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

new gloves for the cold days

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does a black Santa say?

Hoe, hoe, hoe.

Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid?

My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.

What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?

I dont know, hes still trying to kick it open.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

What did the Momma buffalo say to the baby buffalo on his first day of school?

Bye Son (Bison)

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why cant programmers tell the difference between christmas and thanksgiving?

Because oct 31 = dec 25

What's the most poular Christmas carol in the desert?

Oh caaamel ye faithful.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What part of your hand is the most salty?

The NaCls

How do you cut a turd into 5 pieces?

Squish it in your hand.

Cold Day Jokes More Cold Day Jokes

Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration?

Because it's a cold day in hell....

What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day?

It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey.