Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people shoot up schools?

Because it increases the average IQ of the world. It's a public service.

Why am I here?

Devil: You told people you'd say hi to other people 3,789 times but only did it 4 times. Me: OK that's fair.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do librarians like the wind?

It says, "Shhh!" all day!

What did Joss say on the last day of shooting the Avengers?

Whedon?

Obese Jokes More Obese Jokes

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

What do you call two obese lesbians who are about to turn in for the night?

Bedward ScissorHams

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

Why did the cabbage whistle?

Because it saw the salad dressing

Burger Jokes More Burger Jokes

What did the burger do when he ate his enemy the hotdog?

he relished it

Why aren't burgers too good at basketball?

Too many turnovers!