What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo jeans.

Why weren't there any famous gun slingers in the Canadian West?

Because they all wore mittens.

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What happens when something travels faster than the speed of light?

Does it matter?

Why is there so much segregation today?

All Fridays Matter

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

Why did the tomato turned red?

Because it saw the salad dressing

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Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

What are you doing there, rabbit?

Rabbit replies "This is a westinghouse, isn't it "