Why don't you play with your friends?

he asked. 'Because I only have one friend' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How do you juice an orange?

Play with its citorus

Why is a violin difficult to play?

Because it is fiddly!

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What do girls and parking spaces have in common?

All the good ones are taken and the rest are disabled

How do you get girls?

Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the difference between a preschool and a terrorist training camp?

Don't ask me...I just fly the drones!

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

When one points and asks his friend, "Is that statue a foot?

To which his friend replies, "No, it's about four and a half feet."

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Why doesn't china have casinos?

Because they hate Tibet.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How do you get a woman to stop texting you?

Reply to her message within a minute

What are my choices?

he asked. "Yes or no," she replied.