When one points and asks his friend, "Is that statue a foot?

To which his friend replies, "No, it's about four and a half feet."

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?

do NOT respond with "I know, right !"

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

Which trees have the most friends?

The poplar ones.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why is my hand 11 inches long?

Because if it were any longer it would be a foot!

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently 10 aren't enough :

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?

A poodle split in half.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Why the long pause?

asks the bartender. The bear replies "Well, I am a bear"

What did they Deer say when she came out of the woods?

Answer: "I will never do that again for 2 bucks " My reply: Ha Ha! :)

Statue Jokes More Statue Jokes

Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow?

Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!

What did the statue say to the other statue?

Hey, S-tat-ue?