Introduce Jokes

How did Zarathustra introduce his peanut-based health drink?

I teach you the goober quench!"

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How do sceptics introduce themselves?

I don't believe we've met..."

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty"

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

How to cure affluenza?

Introduce him to Warhammer.

What is a proper greeting when you're introduced to Christina Hendricks?

Nice to meet you both.

Why haven't you introduced me to your followers yet?

Are you ashamed of me

Whopper?

McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder.

How do you get a touchdown at Penn State?

Introduce a boy with Down's Syndrom to Jerry Sandusky.

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

when someone fed a genie alfredo

What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot?

Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another.

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What do cows do when they're introduced?

They give each other a milk shake!

How does a chemist introduce Batman?

Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium Batman!

How did the Hispanic secret agent introduce himself?

Bondo. Jaime Bondo.

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Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

Follower Jokes More Follower Jokes

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

Why haven't you introduced me to your followers yet?

Are you ashamed of me

Touchdown Jokes More Touchdown Jokes

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

How do you get a touchdown at Penn State?

Introduce a boy with Down's Syndrom to Jerry Sandusky.

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

Why did the doughnut maker retire?

He was fed up with the hole business.

Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed?

He wanted to feed his nightmares.

Pilot Jokes More Pilot Jokes

How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb?

None it is done by the automatic pilot.

Why did the pilot hit the Alps?

To get to the other side.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What do white girls and web developers have in common?

nobody ever compliments our back end :(

What's at the end of every movie?

Insert coin

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you get if you play a C&amp?

W song backwards? Your wife back, your house back, your car back, and your dog back.

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

Why do cows have bells?

Because there horns don't work

What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?

A lumpy milkshake.