What do you need to teach a blonde who ...

Why did the programmer get a job at the photographers?

They needed a developer.

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

What did the first stoplight say to the second stoplight?

A: Don't look I'm changing!!

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

What's the difference between John Kenndy Jr. and Ted Kennedy?

Ted can swim away from an accident.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

What is the formula for water?

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.

Second Gear Jokes More Second Gear Jokes

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

20 Year Jokes More 20 Year Jokes

Why would Rip Van Winkle make a good janitor?

Because he swept for 20 years.

What does a man and a linoleum floor have in common?

If you lay 'em right, you can walk on them for 20 years.