What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

What's the difference between LSD and my dad?

LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They can't get up that high!

What's better than getting second place at the special Olympics?

Not being retarded

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What's the difference between an accident and a catastrophe?

It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Why didn't Anna and Elsa's parents teach them the alphabet?

Because they got lost at C.

How did Zarathustra introduce his peanut-based health drink?

I teach you the goober quench!"

Second Gear Jokes More Second Gear Jokes

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on the new Top Gear?

It doesn't make sense, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

20 Year Jokes More 20 Year Jokes

Why would Rip Van Winkle make a good janitor?

Because he swept for 20 years.

How are women and linoleum floors alike?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.