How are women and linoleum floors alike?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What's the difference between a Redditor and a brick?

The brick will eventually get laid.

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call a snarky criminal walking down stairs?

A condescending con descending.

How do you get in the 'Public Urination Club'?

Walk up to the nearest police officer and you're in.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why don't women like to wear dresses in the winter?

Chapped lips

What's the leading cause of obesity in women?

Wedding rings

20 Year Jokes More 20 Year Jokes

Why did the rooster get 20 years in prison?

He got caught on the internet, looking up chicks.

Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years?

Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years? Michael Jackson

Linoleum Floor Jokes More Linoleum Floor Jokes

How are women and linoleum floors alike?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

What does a man and a linoleum floor have in common?

If you lay 'em right, you can walk on them for 20 years.