How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

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Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why is 12 the highest number rednecks can count to?

How else would they know how many cans are in a 12 pack.

What do Dothraki use to count their horses?

A Khalculator

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What did the bartender say to the giraffe when he ordered a beer?

Long neck or giraffed?

Why should you always take two Mormon's fishing?

Cause if you take one, he'll drink all your beer

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

Why are you wearing masks?

There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.

Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb?

They love to watch mistakes being made.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

What do you call a person who teaches you the art of farting?

A tooter

Why did man invent the shipping cart?

To teach women how to stand on their hind legs.

4 Year Old Jokes More 4 Year Old Jokes

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window