Mistake Jokes

What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita?

Uppsala

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did Jessie say to Buzz after the condom broke?

There's a mistake in my womb.

This joke may have profanity.

What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad?

I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake.

What does a muslim say when he makes a mistake?

Allahu Mybad

Why was the bumble bee wearing a yamaka?

Because he didn't want to be mistaken for a WASP

Who did Chris Brown mistook Rihanna for?

Britney Spears

How many SRSers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They wait for the electrician to make a mistake and yell at them for doing it wrong.

What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes?

Xu wong

Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb?

They love to watch mistakes being made.

What's your biggest weakness?

Interviewee: "I never learn from my mistakes" Interviewer: "Oh, why's that " Interviewee: "I never make any"

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did the Japanese General say to his kamikaze trainee?

Despite what everyone tells you, you'll never learn from your mistakes.

What do you call it when a pickle makes a mistake?

A dill d'oh

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?

By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

How did the obscene telephone caller get attacked by the Gorilla?

He made a mistake and dialled a preyer!

What do you call it when your child teaches you something they are interested in?

A: Learning from your mistakes.

How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ?

Pupil: I get up early !

Why are you wearing masks?

There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.

How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

Why was the slab of marble upset?

He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite."

What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake?

Dough!"

Why didn't the Blonic Pig get a TV series of his own?

He made the mistake of going to a barbecue with the Bionic Man and the Blonic Woman.

What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?

He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report?

Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it.

What do you call a steak that is cooked wrong?

A mistake

Why does Bob Ross not use a condom?

Because he doesn't make mistakes, only happy little accidents.

What do you call a Muslim who always makes mistakes?

Errorist

Why is ur wife shouting at you?

Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

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Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second

What animal is two animals at the same time?

The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :) ... oh, wait.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs. (I remember this from the 1970s when I was in middle school. It's one of my first dirty jokes)

How many things do you need to change a lightbulb?

3, a person, a ladder, and another lightbulb

Significance Jokes More Significance Jokes

What's the difference between Hillary and Eva Braun?

One achieved fame and significance solely because she was married to a charismatic politician. The other was Hilter's wife.

How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report?

Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it.

City Jokes More City Jokes

What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What US city has the dirtiest waffles?

San Diego

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

What do you call an Asian gold digger?

Cha Ching

What do you call an asian walking a dog?

A vegetarian.

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

To stop getting wet !

Whats the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many South American people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian

How many ameobas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No, sixteen! No, thirty-two! ...