Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when porky pig fell asleep at his construction job?

The foreman fired him, saying, 'We can't have bored boars boring boards.'

What happened when the lepers played poker?

One guy threw down his hand and another laughed his head off. This was my best friend's favorite joke when she was little apparently.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why don't gypsies use condoms ?

They have crystal balls so they see it coming.

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's 6" long, bent to the left, and in the front of my pants??

My iPhone 6.

Why does Poesche keep their engines in the back?

To leave more room for Paul Walker in the Front..

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why did the physicist move across the street from the haunted graveyard?

To observe spooky action at a distance! Thank you, I'll be here all week.

What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?

Open Toad sandals... I'll show myself out - thank you

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call a lizard that doesn't work?

A reptile dysfunction.

Why is Instagram not working?

but "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job?

He tried fighting fire with fire.

What strengths do you bring to the job?

long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita?

Uppsala

I. Jokes More I. Jokes

Why is the alphabet of a pirate incomplete ?

Because they lost an I.

What does a pirate have in common with the alphabet?

They only have one I.

Typo Jokes More Typo Jokes

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

Why are 490 Romans are funny ?

Because XD Edit : Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here

Bye Jokes More Bye Jokes

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went off to college?

Bye, son."

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What's it like to tweet "My cat sneezed" and get 500 RT in the first minute ?

My cat would be dead before I got 50

What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!