A grocery store cashier asked if I woul...

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do pirates say when they find buried treasure?

Thanks for the gold!

How do french thank who save their files?

Merci backup.

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window.

Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?

The kernel was looking for him.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people. I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.

How do you know a girl with leprosy likes you?

She gives you the eye.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the relationship between two parallel lines never worked out?

It never worked out because they never met

What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business?

A Pte-redact-yl

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell someone is an engineer?

They'll tell you! (Source: am an engineer)

How Am I Doing?

I'll Tell You How I'm Doing Volumes: 1-8

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

Why are we running so fast?

asked one. "Because" said the second "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11?

Americans cant milk a cow for 14 years.

Carton Jokes More Carton Jokes

Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?

A: In case she wanted black coffee.

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'