A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What's the sound of a one-handed corpse clapping?

Dead silence. What's the sound of a one-handed zombie clapping? Undead silence. Thanks to my gaming group for those.

What were Jesus' final words?

So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What do you have when you got a bag of weed and a bottle of Jack Daniel's?

Jackpot!

How's everyone else holding up?

Anyone know why they all have bags of candy

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What did the phone say to the other phone after a bad rejection?

If you like it then you shudda put a ringtone on it.

Whose mother likes rap music?

Yo Momma! My eight-year-old daughter wants to see how many upvotes she can get. Ten-year old brother is interested in downvotes.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do hard-working grocery store clerks get every year?

A celery increase.

Where is Victoria working now?

In the kitchen.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head?

If it's red on top, fire in the hole.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do call an old man that asks questions?

Pop Quiz

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust?

A cow can't be milked for 70 years.

What do you call a dwarf with a birth defect, is broke and can't drink milk?

Lack toes and tall or rent

Carton Jokes More Carton Jokes

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

Why was the blond staring at a carton of orange juice?

Because it said concentrate.