Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell if somebody doesn't have a smartphone?

Just wait, they'll tell you.

What's the definition of awful?

Putting a bomb on a disabled person's back and telling him to run.

Mustard Jokes More Mustard Jokes

What did the guy who liked mustard say when he opened his fridge and saw no mustard?

You mustard be joking!

Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

Troop Jokes More Troop Jokes

Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning?

That's how he mustard the troops.

Slimy Jokes More Slimy Jokes

Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

A: Kermit the Frog's Finger