What do you call a Mustard that keeps remembering things that haven't happened yet?

dijon-vu mustard... (Sorry)

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What would happen if the Illuminati and Half-Life 3 agreed with each other?

Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?

It became a daddy short legs !

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is the only thing that will be "Feeling the Bern"?

Working people's wallets.

What do you call a seamstress who makes things up?

A *fabric*ator. It was a slow day at work...

Mustard Jokes More Mustard Jokes

What do you call a singing bottle of mustard?

Celine Dijon

What is yellow and rolls down a hill?

Mustard in a rollerskate

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

How do pianists remember which groceries to buy?

They use a Chopin Liszt!

How'd you get that cut above your eye?

Me: *Remembering dropping my phone on my face* "STOP ASKING ME ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!"