What were Jesus' final words?

So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight?

Thank you, I'm flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why is Jesus so bad at hockey?

Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards!

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was actually Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Who does Polyphemus hate more than Odysseus?

Nobody.

What type of music do balloons hate?

Pop music!

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How do you make a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the oven at three fifty tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened.

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

How do fish make calls?

On a shellphone! My 7 year old self was very proud of coming up with this one....

How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm?

They'll both bite at anything!