What do Jesus and my high school girlfriend have in common?

They both bled for me.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How do you know Jesus loves Japanese food?

Because he said he loves miso.

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

Why is the zoo calling us about a missing coyote?

ME: bleeding profusely So... not a dog

Why did the clueless shark keep swimming in circles?

A : It had a bleed on its tail fin.