What do Jesus and my high school girlfriend have in common?

They both bled for me.

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why didn't Jesus have any children?

He only got nailed by guys )

Why did Jesus fall on the side of the road?

Because he was crossed.

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What has 2 legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out?

A rebel without a gauze