Bag Jokes

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's purple and sequels?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt. *squeals

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

Why did the cat befriend the dog?

Because the dog let the cat out of the bag! Haha!

Why doesn't the sun pack it's bags?

Because it's traveling light!

What do you call a pink slip served inside a bag of coffee?

Grounds for termination.

What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

How is the world like a bag of jellybeans?

Nobody likes the black ones.

Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window

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Why are there only 239 beans in a bag of beans?

If there were one more it would be two-farty!

Why did Bill Cosby go to Japan with a bag of roofies?

He had Jello fever!

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window.

What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby?

I don't use sugar in my signature cookies.

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What do you have when you got a bag of weed and a bottle of Jack Daniel's?

Jackpot!

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a mercedes?

I don't have a mercedes in my garage!

What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out the window.

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a toddler and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

Why do Kenyans always win marathons?

At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-

Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?

The kernel was looking for him.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

Whoever answers my next question, can go home One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that?

Boy: Me and I'm going home now.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine &amp a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon

What are you doing, dad?

Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling "non-extraditable countries". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"

What's red and white and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

What's the best thing about portugal?

You never have to carry your bags because of all the porter-geese. Thankyou, im here till monday!

What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony

What's red and loud?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

What's the difference between a bag of chips and a duck with the flu?

One's a quick snack and the other's a sick quack!

How many raisins do I have to add to this bag of M&Ms before it qualifies as trail mix?

One I say one.

What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

How's everyone else holding up?

Anyone know why they all have bags of candy

What's that in the bag?

An AK-47." "No next to that." "A bag of cheetos." "You can't bring that into the movie."

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

What do you call a bag of tiny crosses?

Jesus Pieces.

How does a psychic open a bag of chips?

They Tarot.

Why do grocery stores double-bag everything?

Like why don't you just make bags that are twice as strong

How much do the potatoes cost?

How much do the potatoes cost " - "2.50" - "And the bag" - "The bag is free" - "Ok, give me the bag"

What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out

How much for the soulmate?

Ma'am, that's a bag of Doritos.

What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

an asymp-tote*

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

How does Bilbo take his tea?

Bag-in

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ?

They can lighten your load !

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?

Snakes and Larders !sna

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

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Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why does Poland stay from Germany?

a couple decades ago they had a three way with Russia that ended poorly

What do you call an Irishman that stays out all night?

Patty O'Furniture

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

Why aren't the Eagles worried about big cats sneaking up on them?

They know there ain't no way to hide those lion eyes.

What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work?

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's off to work I go!

Cash Jokes More Cash Jokes

What do you call a homeless man who trashes food you give him then says he only accepts cash?

A rootabaga.

What knight of the round table never paid with cash when buying something?

Sir Charge

Eric Clapton Jokes More Eric Clapton Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?

Plenty o' room.

Which ant is the biggest?

Elephant

F Jokes More F Jokes

How do you fit an elephant in a teacup?

You take the f out of way. say it out loud if you don't get it

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

How do you keep your Thanksgiving guests from falling asleep on your couch?

Infuse the gravy with cocaine.

Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts?

Because they'll crack up anyways

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What does it mean when the Post Office flag is flying at half-staff?

They are hiring.

What do you get for the women who has everything?

A divorce, then she'll only have half of everything.