How does a psychic open a bag of chips?

They Tarot.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

Why do Australians have a well balanced walk?

They've a chip on both shoulders

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.