How does a psychic open a bag of chips?

They Tarot.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher?

Would you like ketchup with your chips

Why are Australians so well balanced?

They have a chip on both shoulders.