What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this."

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

What colour pants do you need to start a vehicle?

Khaki

God Jokes More God Jokes

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

Why did God bless Texas?

He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.

Backup Jokes More Backup Jokes

How many livers do people have?

I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.

How many data wranglers does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many data wranglers does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they need a backup.

Noah Jokes More Noah Jokes

Why do writers hate the bible?

It has terrible characters, Noah is the only one with an arc.

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Format Jokes More Format Jokes

How many religious women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Nun.

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!