What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this."

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God?

Eggnog-stic.

Why did God make women last?

He didn't want someone telling him what to do

Backup Jokes More Backup Jokes

How many data wranglers does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many data wranglers does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they need a backup.

What do you do if you lose all the information on your computer?

Ask the NSA for a backup.

Noah Jokes More Noah Jokes

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

Why couldn't the animals on Noah's Ark play cards?

A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!

Format Jokes More Format Jokes

Which format are the images you send?

Customer: "Rectangular 15x11 centimeters."

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!