Noah Jokes

Why didn't Noah let the Tasmanian devil in?

He was not an archdevil.

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How did Noah get the animals on the ark?

He pokmon!

Where did Noah keep the Bees?

In the Ark-Hives.

Where did Noah park his fish?

The carp-ark.

What did Noah name the carpentry supply store he set up in Little Rock?

Ark-n-Saw.

What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

Why do writers hate the bible?

It has terrible characters, Noah is the only one with an arc.

Who was Noah's wife?

Joan of Ark

What kind of cake did Noah enjoy?

Mabul cake.

What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

How do you build a boat?

Well Im not sure, but I do Noah guy.

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What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?

In the Ark-hives.

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Where does Noah store his bees?

The ark-hives.

Why was Noah such a compelling character?

He had a good ark.

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the ark hives

Who designed Noah's ark?

An ark-itect !

Why couldn't the animals on Noah's Ark play cards?

A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!

Why didn't Noah go fishing?

A: He only had two worms!

Where did Noah keep his termites?

In a plastic bag.

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs !

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms !

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this."

Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said "Go forth and multiply" ?

They couldn't they were adders !

What did the aardvark say to Noah?

What do you mean you only brought two ants!

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Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

Why are fish easy to weigh?

Because they have their own scales.

What did the fish say for stinking up the sushi restaurant?

I am saury.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What did people call Putin after he lost an arm?

Amputin

Why do people call memes "dank"?

Because they release dopameme!

M Jokes More M Jokes

What starts with an 'M', ends with 'arriage', and recently made me the happiest man alive?

Miscarriage

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

Arc Jokes More Arc Jokes

Why do writers hate the bible?

It has terrible characters, Noah is the only one with an arc.

Where could you look up Joan of Arc's profile?

On Tinder.

Suppose Jokes More Suppose Jokes

What did Cinderella say before she got to the ball?

Aghagghhghgagaggag (Those are supposed to be gagging noises)

How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world?

All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it.

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

Why do people wear sleeveless shirts?

They like to express the right to bear arms.

Why does Beyonce sing the song "to the left"?

Because black people have no rights...

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the buffalo say to his boy before leaving for work?

Bye, son.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at college?

Bi-son

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

What do you call 2 metalheads falling in love?

A match maiden heaven