Noah Jokes

Why didn't Noah let the Tasmanian devil in?

He was not an archdevil.

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How did Noah get the animals on the ark?

He pokmon!

Where did Noah keep the Bees?

In the Ark-Hives.

Where did Noah park his fish?

The carp-ark.

What did Noah name the carpentry supply store he set up in Little Rock?

Ark-n-Saw.

What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

Why do writers hate the bible?

It has terrible characters, Noah is the only one with an arc.

Who was Noah's wife?

Joan of Ark

What kind of cake did Noah enjoy?

Mabul cake.

What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

How do you build a boat?

Well Im not sure, but I do Noah guy.

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What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?

You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!

When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees?

In the Ark-hives.

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Where does Noah store his bees?

The ark-hives.

Why was Noah such a compelling character?

He had a good ark.

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the ark hives

Who designed Noah's ark?

An ark-itect !

Why couldn't the animals on Noah's Ark play cards?

A: Because Noah was standing on the deck!

Why didn't Noah go fishing?

A: He only had two worms!

Where did Noah keep his termites?

In a plastic bag.

Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ?

Because everyone had to go on in pairs !

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark ?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms !

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

What did God say to Noah?

Make a backup, I need to re-format this."

Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said "Go forth and multiply" ?

They couldn't they were adders !

What did the aardvark say to Noah?

What do you mean you only brought two ants!

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A pizza can feed a family of four. Im sorry if I've offended any pizzas.

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Why couldn't 5 stop drinking?

Because it was 2 turnt up

How do you know when you are a drug addict?

when you realize that you have had 2 strepsils within one hour.

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Who never wants to be drawn at a raffle?

Mohammed

What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

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What Pokmon can you find at Auschwitz?

Gastly

What does the GO in Pokmon GO stand for?

Go Outside

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How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

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Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

Why doesn't Moses buy beer?

He brews it.

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What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself?

One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.

What do you call a union of writers?

A writers' block

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What does a pirate do for entertainment?

Whatever floats his boat.

Why shouldn't you take the Fourier transform of a square pulse while on a boat?

Because you don't wanna sinc!