How many religious women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Nun.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Woah woah woah... I never said there was a lightbulb!

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: So who wants to know Why do *you* want to know Are you a cop

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many spiders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two.

What do pancakes and kids have in common?

The first one usually gets screwed up.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How do you make a door cry?

You twist its knob. edit: grammar

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

Format Jokes More Format Jokes

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar?

Because he was sheet faced.