What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What day was Doris Day born?

Doris' day.

How do you make a dog meow?

Put it in the freezer for three days. Run it through a bandsaw. Meoooooow.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's wet on the inside, hairy on the outside, starts with C and ends in T?

Coconut.

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

Where do all the good boys go to hide away?

r/cringepics Based off Daya's song "Hide Away"

End Day Jokes More End Day Jokes

What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

Small Body Jokes More Small Body Jokes

What do you call it when you have enough money to but a truck from 4 different people who used to cross small bodies of water?

You can afford four fjord forders' fords.

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

Skittle Jokes More Skittle Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus like M&amp?

Ms? They keep falling through. If that's not offensive enough, replace it with black Jesus and skittles.

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.