Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What's red and white and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar?

a salad-manager

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

When one points and asks his friend, "Is that statue a foot?

To which his friend replies, "No, it's about four and a half feet."

What do you call an 80lb midget with 40lb testicles?

SFW) Half nuts!

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

How many mice does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.

Why doesn't your menu list prices?

Waiter: We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari?

I don't have 100 dead babies in my garage

Which is more environment-friendly: Facebook or r/jokes?

Facebook produces too much plastics while r/jokes has 100% recycling rate.

Cash Jokes More Cash Jokes

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up."