Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

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How did Geordi La Forge go blind?

He turned on the UV light in the Holodeck.

How do they all sit?

They turn the stool upside down

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What university department did the Fonz go do when he needed help paying his tuition?

Financial Ayyyyyyd I'll

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

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Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because every time she reaches 69 she gets a frog in her throat.

When did you first miss it dear?

Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

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What should you buy if your hair falls out ?

A good vacuum cleaner !

Why didnt Craig buy Anne Franks shoes on Ebay for 2000$ ?

They were Holo-costly

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What do you call a soda that's really sad?

So Dapressed. I'll leave now.

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ?

Bike carbonate of soda !

Receipt Jokes More Receipt Jokes

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Why did Cher go nuclear when the shopkeeper didn't give her the receipt?

Cher-No-Bill

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What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula."

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Cash Jokes More Cash Jokes

What do you get when you cash in your memes for karma?

A dank statement.

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza