Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why does everyone hate me?

I texted with the clicky keyboard sound turned on.

Why do they call me the fireman?

Cause I turn on the hoes

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How long do black women need to bring the garbage out?

About 9 month.

How many Estonians you need to build a house in Finland ?

Who knows, there is no tax record of it.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

How many dead whores does it take to change a light bulb?

More than three, I still can't reach it.

What do North Korean weapons and T-Rex's have in common?

They both can't reach really far.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why should you always rent, rather than buy, a multimeter that measures ohms?

Because it's easier to follow the path of leased resistance.

Where did the judge go to buy a necklace for his wife?

The jury store

Soda Jokes More Soda Jokes

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

mini-soda.

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Receipt Jokes More Receipt Jokes

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Why did Cher go nuclear when the shopkeeper didn't give her the receipt?

Cher-No-Bill

Wad Jokes More Wad Jokes

What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula."

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.

Cash Jokes More Cash Jokes

Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

What knight of the round table never paid with cash when buying something?

Sir Charge