Soda Jokes

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Where do dancers put their empty sodas?

In the can-can can can.

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

What do you call a dream about soda?

a fanta sea

Why didn't the weightlifter like doing chest exercises with Coke cans?

Because it was soda pressing.

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

mini-soda.

Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

What do you call it when you drown a baby in soda?

Infantacide

What US State has the smallest soft drinks?

Mini-Soda (Minnesota) Such a bad joke... :/

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why does the can crusher hate his job?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do they call soda in Rome?

Pope.

How does Tom Brady like his soda?

Flat.

How do you make a dog float?

Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ?

Bike carbonate of soda !

What kind of soda do dogs drink?

Barq's Root Beer.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

How many cans of soda can a soda can can if a soda can can can cans?

No one can ever know P.S. are these type of tongue twister jokes allowed here If not i will happily remove it.

What do you call a soda that's really sad?

So Dapressed. I'll leave now.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?

Because she's dead.

What do you think Michael Hastings was working on before he died?

slowing down his car. ... ... shoutout to for this one.

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What does ISIS call wine snobs?

Zinfandels!!!!!!

What's the last thing the ISIS fighters' wife said before she blew herself up?

Bahhh

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Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

What did the ISIS fighter say when he went to bomb the Hawaiian cafe?

ALOHA SNACKBAR

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What is ISIS's favorite candy bar?

Allahu Snackbar, it's flavor is explosive.

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

State Jokes More State Jokes

Which state is actually a tiny soft drink?

mini-soda.

How do you spell Mississippi?

Redneck: Which one The river or the state

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What brings the monster's babies?

The Frankenstork.

When Chris brought over his musl*m girlfriend to meet the family, what did they say?

Nice scarf! Must be cold where you came from! Do you guys want coffee?"

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What has 4 legs, 2 grey and 2 brown?

an elephant with diarrhea

Why is Jesus bad at crossword puzzles?

He always gets stuck on 2 Across.

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of milk is swiss cheese made of?

Whole milk.

What types of trees never get Christmas presents?

Knotty Pines.