Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

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Push Jokes More Push Jokes

How do you stop a Polish tank?

Shoot the guy that's pushing it

Why do Democrats push for more gun control?

Because they can't stop shooting themselves in the foot.

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What can you get off with your finger that you can't get off with steel wool?

Your girlfriend.

Why is marriage like thin toilet paper?

Because you end up with a ring on your finger.

Soda Jokes More Soda Jokes

What kind of Pop do you cook with?

Baking Soda

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

How do Russian sprinters train?

They put a bottle of vodka 100 meters away from them.

Why do Polish people keep empty bottles in their refrigerator?

For people that don't want anything to drink

Pepsi Jokes More Pepsi Jokes

Why did the Pepsi executive get fired?

He tested positive for Coke.

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing