What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What can Santa give away and still keep?

A cold.

What do Pimps and Santa have in common?

They stay with 3 ho's

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What did the cow say when she got hit by a car?

Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.

What happens when you wear radioactive Russian underpants?

Cher nob'll fall out.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the sun say after melting Frosty the Snowman?

I came, I thaw, I conquered .

What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?

A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny?

He was wanted for several charges of battery

What did the chinese guy tell the police when he was caught?

You got the Wong guy.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do tiny Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Ceasars

Why is the oval office oval shaped?

Because the government cuts corners.

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?

oc Because he cantaloupe.

Which type of juice has the most mood swings?

Caprice Sun. OC

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why don't girls have beards?

It's in their "jeans" ;)

Statement Jokes More Statement Jokes

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

Why does chav code never compile?

They end every statement with init

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?

So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year ,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

What happened to when the coke bottle was ran over by the steam roller?

He was soda pressed.

Why was the Pepsi crying while lifting weights?

Because he was soda-pressing